Kia ora Rohpiha, Wow! I really enjoyed reading your Cross Country writing. The way you have used descriptive words and phrases transports me into your race. I know you studied Sir Edmund Hillary last term and for you to put in one of his quotes to end the piece of writing really helped me understand how you felt at the end of the race. My dad used to call a cup of tea a "brew". Is that how you you heard it too? I really like the way you have presented your writing with your photo in the background. Ka pai to mahi! from Mrs Torrie
What a fabulous piece of writing Ropiha. You bring back many memories of cross country races in my past. I love the way you have identified that you expended energy unnecessarily at the start of the race. And the quote from Sir Ed to conclude is a gem. Well done. This writing deserves a much wider audience, but because you have turned it into a graphic it would not show up in a Google search. I wonder if your teachers could suggest a way in which you could tweak the post to make it more searchable? Mrs Burt Manaiakalani
Tena koe Ropiha, This is one fantastic piece of writing with some really descriptive language that really engaged me as a reader. As a runner myself I could relate to your race and that quote from Sir Ed really resonates with me as it is amazing what we can do if we believe in ourselves. Well done on you great race. A focus next time could be to think about your audience a bit more as my old eyes found your font and colours a bit hard to read. Once again thank you for sharing such a lovely piece of writing. Nga mihi, Mark
Thank you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comments. Positive - something done well Thoughtful - a sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - give some ideas for next time or ask a question you want to know more about
Kia ora Rohpiha,
ReplyDeleteWow! I really enjoyed reading your Cross Country writing. The way you have used descriptive words and phrases transports me into your race.
I know you studied Sir Edmund Hillary last term and for you to put in one of his quotes to end the piece of writing really helped me understand how you felt at the end of the race.
My dad used to call a cup of tea a "brew". Is that how you you heard it too?
I really like the way you have presented your writing with your photo in the background.
Ka pai to mahi!
from Mrs Torrie
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous piece of writing Ropiha. You bring back many memories of cross country races in my past. I love the way you have identified that you expended energy unnecessarily at the start of the race. And the quote from Sir Ed to conclude is a gem. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThis writing deserves a much wider audience, but because you have turned it into a graphic it would not show up in a Google search. I wonder if your teachers could suggest a way in which you could tweak the post to make it more searchable?
Mrs Burt
Manaiakalani
Tena koe Ropiha,
ReplyDeleteThis is one fantastic piece of writing with some really descriptive language that really engaged me as a reader.
As a runner myself I could relate to your race and that quote from Sir Ed really resonates with me as it is amazing what we can do if we believe in ourselves. Well done on you great race.
A focus next time could be to think about your audience a bit more as my old eyes found your font and colours a bit hard to read.
Once again thank you for sharing such a lovely piece of writing.
Nga mihi,
Mark